adoption advice: Alexis

As part of National Adoption Month, I've been asking some of my past families about "what is your biggest advice for hopeful adoptive parents?"

Alexis came to mind, as she is a new single mother through the miracle of adoption!  She jumped bravely into the process as a single woman, with the support of close friends and family by her side.

She recently finalized the adoption of her sweet son Cohen.  When I asked Alexis her biggest piece of advice for hopeful adoptive parents, here's what she said.....



Expectations!  The expectations I set during the adoption process made it more difficult when they weren’t met, but they made me turn to God, time and time again. 

Whether it was an expectation set in regards to timing on completing paperwork, the number of cases coming through my inbox, responses from others involved in the process, information from an agency, a yes or no from presenting, birth parent communication, timing on delivery/baby arrival, finances, etc. when it wasn’t met, it lead to frustration and/or discouragement. We all have a tendency to be type A and in the adoption process there is no place for this mentality. This process is truly refining as we have no control. Literally, NO CONTROL. But luckily we can rest in the fact that we serve a God who IS in control, we just have to let Him have it and trust (much easier said than done). 

Fight the urge to set yourself up for disappointments with expectations and turn to Him. He is gracious and will divinely bring your family together in a way you may never expect. Look for His grace along the way and cling to the fact that He won’t mess it up. Stay strong, your baby is out there and needs you to keep pushing on.

I started working with CAC in September 2018 as a single parent. After presenting a total of about 13 times with 1 failed placement, my son was born in July 2019. 

I can’t imagine the outcome in any other way, but I questioned God many times along the way. I’m thankful for how He stretched and strengthen my faith, the kindness He showed me in and through those supporting me, in those I met along the way and for answering my prayers with this sweet boy! 

“I belong with you, you belong with me, you’re my sweetheart”

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