adoption story: Max + Megan

I loved serving Megan and Max. They came into adoption with hearts open for a wide array of situations. They just wanted to become a family of four.

They signed on with me in April of last year, bravely became home study certified and also bravely launched into some amazing ways to fund their adoption. They completed a Both Hands project, a T-shirt Fundraiser, grants, and everything in between).  They were matched in July.  They were able to travel in late August to meet the expectant mother who chose them to raise her son.

Everything was going smoothly until one day when they got a call that the baby had been delivered 9 weeks prematurely.  And their expectant mom was now having second thoughts about her adoption plan...

Megan shares a bit more about their adoption journey....



Max & I started our relationship out talking about kids LONG before we were married. We both love kids and it's been our lifelong dream to parent. When infertility got in our way, we tried just about everything before realizing we may be "wasting" our money on medical treatments. So, instead, we started the journey to adopt.

Our son Benji was born on a Wednesday, about 9 weeks early, which was a huge shock to us. Our agency called with the news that Benji's birth mother had to have an emergency c-section. They also shared that she was having a very difficult time and was considering parenting. Knowing that she was considering parenting was a daunting thought for us. 

So began five days of sobbing and begging and pleading with God, that His will be done for everyone involved.  This was the most suspenseful time in my life, to say the least.  

After what felt like an eternity, we got the call from our agency that the expectant mom reached out to the agency and DID sign consents.  I was shaking and crying when our attorney tried explaining to me that we needed to book some flights to come meet our five day old SON! The only information we knew about him was that he was born nine weeks early and weighed three pounds. We had no idea how long we would be there with him in the NICU.

Since we farm for a living, and it was harvest time, I literally had to pull my husband out of the tractor and we quickly called to find someone to fill in. 

We booked flights and a rental car and made our way to my parents to leave our older son with them for the first week while we figured out what our arrangements would be. We didn't even know where we would be staying yet! 

I slept a half hour that night and woke up before it was bright out to drive to the airport. It seemed like forever, but we finally made it to our 3.5 hour flight, then land, then drive over an hour.  We were finally able to make it to the hospital that afternoon to meet our precious little boy, weighing 2 pounds, 7oz.  He was skin and bones and had so many lines attached to him and tape covering his face.

Words cannot express the joy and shock you feel when you finally meet your baby. And with an adoption, there's fear too. Fear that this all may not work out, even though papers had been signed. 

We spent about 5 weeks in the NICU surrounded by so many amazing doctors and nurses. We were able to have my husband fly home to get my older son and bring him back as well so we spent all but 2 of the 6 weeks as a family of four living in Florida!  

Putting your heart and family members hearts on the line for a baby, and publicly, is a kind of vulnerability that can make you feel sick to your stomach. But God worked wonders on our hearts during this time and gave us the patience and faith to believe.

The first few days, Benji was an ultimate rockstar. He ditched his CPAP machine, his micro-dose of medication to wean him, his PICC line, and increased feeds. We thought we would for sure be out of there in no time. 

Then things all stayed the same for a while and it felt like we would be living in the NICU forever. He was doing so well, but everyday seemed the same.

 Luckily, we had our 3 year old son to brighten our days and keep us exploring new places!
 
Every day, we did as much skin to skin with him as possible and he clearly loved the physical touch. It calmed him and let us know we were helping. 






Eventually we made a list of goals that we had to accomplish before he could leave the NICU. He had to eat on his own, without the tube of course. He had to regulate temperature. He had to stop having his bradycardia events where he would stop breathing for a few seconds while sleeping. He had to pass his carseat challenge. I'm sure there were more. 

We spent everyday in the NICU with him. My husband and I would alternate morning and afternoon so that our older son wouldn't have to spend all day in one room. We really grew close over that time and realized how much we have to work together for this goal. All four of us spent Thanksgiving in the NICU room for 9-10 hours. 
Benji was 5 and a half pounds when he was discharged We were able to stay at a Ronald McDonald house the entire time about 3 blocks away. The Ronald McDonald house was a tremendous blessing, and we will be forever grateful to them!

Once we were discharged, we waited out ICPC and "vacationed" a little, visiting a children's museum, aquarium, beaches, gardens and other sites. We got a lot of stares when people noticed our little baby! 

Once we could fly home, we said goodbye to our Ronald McDonald house family and made the 3.5 hour flight home. 

Looking back, I still can't believe our family did all that. What an amazing story for us to treasure forever! 

If I had to give advice to a family considering adoption, I would tell them, you've probably already endured some really hard times (If you're like us and had the infertility aspect). You CAN do it, and it will be so amazing. I'm not saying it'll go as planned and be like a Hallmark movie, but God will provide in His time. 

The hardest thing for me was the waiting and seeing the brokenness in adoption.  The biggest savior for me was just giving it to God. What else could I do? Much of the process involves lack of control. 

I remember when we were having some doubts when communication with Benji's birth mom was quiet and I would tell myself, if this is my baby, He will make it happen. If this is not our baby, He is preparing another situation for us.

 Our faith carried us through all the uncertainties. It was not always graceful, some days, but deep down, we knew that God would provide us a child. He would have never put the burning desire of becoming parents in our hearts if he didn't intend on making it happen.

I think Max and I are both still in some disbelief that we adopted and he is here! From signing on with CAC to the birth of our baby, it took 9 months. Although, any amount of time seems like an eternity when you know what you want, our adoption did not take long at all! It is one of the most challenging journeys we've been on as a family, and we are just grateful to now be a family of four.


 Today Benji is a happy, healthy 7 month old, adored by us, and his older brother! We love our Benji boy!